The Porn Trap (Pt.1)

If you fulfill these three criteria, welcome aboard to your worst nightmare. :'(

             There are a few negative consequences that we should look together, and personally, this entry for someone who have this problem and these consequences might ring a bell to them. A shout out to those who have an intention to look into porn (jangan hang gatai nk tengok), because people said....

PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE

              This stuff is like drug, only in different form. It gives instant pleasure, instant sexual outlet without any responsibility or commitment like marriage. In fact, it is so easily accessed nowadays. I mean, for real, I even ran into dirty website advertisement on Facebook. You know, the ads at the side of the webpage. It's crazy. Unlike the old days where you need to spend some money to get some porn materials, nowadays, in the age of Web 2.0, you can get it for free, just a click away. Again, it's crazy >.<

             People don't see porn as dangerous as drug or alcohol or maybe cigarettes because the health effect is subtle (maksudnya, effect dy x obvious la..). Unlike the others, we could see how the effect is towards the ones doing it. In fact, it is just the same, porn, drugs and alcohol because... (sorry, i'm going to get a little bit scientific here). People might think..

     "Oh come on..How can it be as dangerous as a drug. I can't smoke it, drink it or shoot it. I bet there's no harm in it. Pfftt~~~"

           Look deeper, friends. Porn is able to change your brain chemistry like how drug and alcohol does because it causes your dopamine level to spike. (Dopamine is a hormone that makes you feel 'high'- khayal, etc.. You get what I mean.) And at the same time, it also increases other 'feel - good' chemicals in your brain. Overloading with pleasure chemicals leads you to wanting more of it and leads to addiction. Even worse, if you masturbate to it.... quitting can be your worst experience ever. So, the first problem is...

#1 - Changes your brain chemistry.

           Engaging with porn can simply means you're leading a dual life. Your real life and your secret fantasy life that you don't want other people to know. Regular use of it can keep you isolated from the people around you, from the people you love. Keeping a dark secret behind you can be very emotionally frustrating. Especially in a relationship that requires you to be honest, you need to be dishonest towards other people and worse, to yourself, just to keep safe that your dark secret is not exposed to them. Fearful of rejection leads to such dishonesty and leading a secretive lifestyle. Anyone who spends a lot of their time with porn will eventually have some problems to go about with their loved ones. They don't want to let them know because doing so can destroy their faith, their trust and their hope towards you. So better off lead a secretive and dishonest life and feel bad about yourself. Porn user also tend to get scared to build new relationship as they fear of other people's judgement towards their porn usage. They may appear fine and happy on the outside, but deep down inside, they are afraid and felt isolated. Thus, the second problem is....

#2 - Isolated from your loved ones and leads an emotionally frustrating lifestyle.

           I don't know about you guys, but I've heard some of my friends said that, by watching porn actually gives you a  picture of how it should be after marriage, helps you 'turned on', yada yada yada... But, SAY WHAT???! That's total nonsense. In fact, it makes thing worse. It does not promote intimacy in marriage. It destroys your marriage..BOOOMM!!! Porn gives a wrong idea of sexual intimacy between married couples. The way porn portray it so beastly and sex is simply a 'tool' for an outlet for such desire. When the real thing is, it should promote intimacy in a loving way. Immersed with the porn fantasy can lead your spouse lose  trust in you and felt weak because your partner might think that she/he alone is not enough, to some extent, that their partner need things like porn to fulfill their sexual desire. The relationship with your partner can be portrayed as if there were another person trying to destroy your marriage, when in reality there's none. Porn is like a competitor to your life partner. Sex tend to become mechanical thing rather than making love or being intimate in a beautiful way. So, the other major problem is....

#3 - Destroys your marriage

              In conclusion, we have to reflect ourselves. Allah has warned in the Quran to lower you gaze, didn't He? He said :

"Tell the believing men to reduce (some) of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is acquainted with what they do." (24:30)

Allah is All knowing and for sure He knows why something should be prohibited. Prohibition simply means He loves His servants. Allah does not want His servants to suffer on this earth nor in the hereafter. Just see for yourself when an order is being disobeyed by mankind. The effect is very devastating.  So, those with this problem, take some time to think and step into reality. Look with eyes of rationality, not by nafs or desire. May Allah gives us strength to stay away from pornography. InsyaAllah, in the next entry, we'll try to talk a little bit of healing this habit :)