After reading through Part I, I bet I don't have to tell you that, it's good idea to quit porn (abuden..?!). Knowing that all the drawbacks outweigh the instant pleasure, is a good enough reason to start a click in your mind saying~
"I need to change!"
People want to quit because of many reasons. It could be because they're tired of living a dishonest life and wanted to start taking control of their lives. And maybe they have come to realize that, what they're doing is against Allah's orders and they want to be a better Muslim in this world and hereafter, insyaAllah (^o^)v
And it's important that any porn - users that want to quit, know that on the instant that they have the thought of...
"I want to change!"
"I want to quit porn."
"Porn is destroying my life."
...already means that they have taken the first step to a porn - free lifestyle and being a better servant of Allah.
However.....
Quitting porn never was a smooth and breezy journey by the seashore. It is a journey full of thorns, tornadoes, whirlpool, air turbulence, thunderstoms or whatever you have in mind to show that it is a tough journey. (seriously, it's tough O.o) But no worries, take it as a test of faith from Allah, hehe. Just like what He said in Chapter 29 : Al-ankabut..
"Do people think that they will be left alone because they say, 'We believe' and not be tested? And We indeed tested those who were before them and Allah will certainly make known those who are true and will certainly make known of those who are liars."
(29 : 2-3)
(^_^)
It's totally normal for people to find it difficult to stop. Even with what you think as a strong intention such as change for the sake of Allah and changing your life, the desire will come back and hunt for you. It's also normal, if in one instant you quit porn, then the next day you use it and felt miserable and start talking to yourself that you're weak, you should've been able to stop using it. But later the next day, you fall into the same thing and you start feeling that this is a never-ending cycle. For such thing to happen, it's can be very frustrating, disappointing and somehow developed a conflicting emotions of whether I should quit or not. I mean, tell me about it, who wouldn't? Every time you try, you fail. And we're not talking months of struggle....It's about years of struggle. YOU FEEL ME?? YEARS OF STRUGGLE... huh~ (Sabaq naa.. jgn marah2~)
Why isn't anything working?!
I mean, that's the point. That's the question that we wanna know the answers to it. I bet you've been wondering, why isn't anything working? Why is it so hard? I want to quit, but why can't I quit?
Hmmm..... hmmmm...hmmmmmmm. Argghhh... I can't think of any! :'(
Don't worry, I know how you feel. Well, as a matter of fact, there are two things two consider :
- Ambivalence (conflicting emotions)
- Motivation
"Stronger motivation results in more likely the ambivalence to be resolved"
Which means, when you have stronger motivation, you won't need to think twice whether to quit or not. Ok, I think that's enough for Part II. Well, I did said I'm going to cover about the healing process in Part II, but, so, really, very, sorry because I find it's important to go through it in detail because we're talking about porn addiction issues and to tackle it, you need a thorough understanding of what's going on. So, I'll see ya again in Part III, where I will cover about some strategies to tackle porn out of your life, insyaAllah. For any of you facing this problem, try to resolve your ambivalence by looking for a strong motivation to quit. Keep making du'a cos Allah hears you. Just look on the bright side. There could be 1001 lessons that Allah wants you to learn from this struggle. Hang in there... =)
5 comments:
izzat love ur english. tapi koma, titik segala bagai kena jaga.. saya pencinta bahasa... hahaha
Haha... ok2. I'll make sure I'll be more careful next time. Jzzk sbb tegur. Kalo x, sampai biler tak perasan.. hehe
thnx izzat for d sharing:) i believe it is crucial for everybody out there to know this, but can u suggest/advice on how to share this? bcoz, some of us may find it a bit taboo..jzkk btw:)
Good that you realize how important it is..hehe. If you mean sharing this problem with others, well I would say it's pretty much the same like how you try to share all your other problems with your friends. The only difference is that this problem is about your dark side, it's humiliating, it's really huge stuff and it could result in a change of someone's view towards you. Especially if you've been known as a good person by others. It's pretty heavy to tell others about it..seriously.
I'm no genuine motivator nor an expert in this field. But through my readings and experiences, you should try and tell this to others cos it helps to lighten the burden. It's sort of like "you're not facing this alone" sort of thing and when somebody else already know about this, you might be more careful every other time.
So, first of all. You can't simply pick anyone to share this problem this with you. Choose the one that is really really close to you, in terms of relationship. If your room mate, for example, is the closest one to you, then tell him. Just take sometime, you know, and tell him you got something to tell and if he's truly a friend, he won't deny you. Actually, telling stuff to your room mate might help cos most of the time he's with you, so maybe, he could keep an eye on you.
Secondly, if all hell breaks lose, you can't seem to find any close friend, go and see a counselor. They would definitely be of help to you. They were trained not to judge person for their problems.
So, the key points are :
- Find someone that you trust
- Tell them your problems
Hint = you need to be brave to tell this to others.
I think that's it. Tell me if I didn't answer your question. haha. Hope this helps :)
on the other hand, if you meant sharing this entry on the facebook, just copy the link on the web browser, and paste paste it on the status update bar. Then click 'update', hehe.
*Just joking :P
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